Rachael Ray is obnoxious (and other facts about daytime TV)

It's hard sitting in a bedroom with a TV and not having it on as background noise. So, since today was my first official day of working from my bed, it felt only natural to have it on...(and I always can argue that because of my job it is important to know what is on TV). I hadn't seen any of the new fall daytime lineup so today was my chance to catch a glimpse or two.

First, I finally got a chance to see Meredith on The Today Show. She interviewed a slimmed-down Ruben Studdard from American Idol - who, by the way is now a vegeterian (I was curious to hear if he still smoked pot but Meredith didn't ask the pressing question). The new set is odd. It's hard for me to describe but it felt like more of a daytime fluff show than the place I should turn for my morning news.

Another show I got a chance to see was The View --- the first time I got to see that with Loud and Proud Lesbian Rosie. I pretty much had the show on mute because who can stand all those chatterboxes talking over each other. The times I did have the sound even faintly on, Rosie was talking about her lesbianism and her girlfriend and her girlfriend's mother. At one point, she even made an "L" with her finger and thumb (you know, the loser, L) and held it up and mouthed lesbian. And, poor, frail Elisabeth Hasselback. All she ever wanted to do was marry a pro-football player and win a reality TV show and now she's stuck on this show, trying to get a conservative word in and everyone just jumps all over her. You know she goes back to her dressing room during the commercials and has a mini-breakdown. When she comes back out, they're all hugging and kissing and cuddling with her blood-shot eyes.

And then there's Rachael Ray. I'll admit, I've seen plenty of her shows on The Food Network. I never really made any of the dishes I've seen on her show, but I've been sucked in plenty of times by the thought of domestication and the opportunity to cook a healthy 30-minute meal. Well, her new show (which according to the trades is doing just fine) is a disaster. At least this episode was. All of a sudden, Rachael became a gumbata. She had on Johnny Sack and Bobby Bacala from the Sopranos and they had a "Soprano Sauce Off". While the "Sauce Off" is boring for us viewers who can't smell or taste the product, I stuck with it because I wanted to see who would win (and I just rented Season 5 of the Sopranos from Netflix, so I'm in Soprano mode). Rachael's husband was the judge...however, the most annoying part was Rachael's sudden Brooklyn-Italian accent she grew just for the show. She was yelling and had her arms swaying around the entire show (even more exaggerated than her usual movements). She was saying things like "wo" and "gonna get wacked" and "i'll cut your legs off". It was a train wreck but I couldn't look away.

And, Oprah. Poor little rich girl Oprah. Her show was about embarrassing bodily functions. Guess what, everyone? Oprah poops. Yep. I know you thought she didn't, but I heard it right on her show. She poops just like everyone else.

I've had my fill of daytime TV. Even as background, the shows are hideous (feel free to add any one of these women to the hideous list, my Touchpoints counterparts). How do people watch these shows day in and day out?